


Secret Santa

by Gold_St_Mercury



Category: Green Day
Genre: Bookmobile, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-25 07:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gold_St_Mercury/pseuds/Gold_St_Mercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tré terrorizes the band with his favorite holiday game as wintertime rolls around again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the people depicted in this work. This story is entirely made up by me (not that it couldn't happen...).

The boys knew wintertime was here. In case the sight of Santa Clauses and gaudy Christmas decorations weren’t a reminder enough, the book mobile started getting cold at night again. They were only in the middle of their Kerplunk! tour and already they were having to scavenge for blankets after a show. With the colder weather, came more clothes, which meant more unwashed laundry and smelly socks- but that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was Tré’s love affair with the “sacred art” of Secret Santa. The guy was obsessed with it, and every year there was no escape from the wrath of drawing names awkwardly, sneaking away from a group to buy a present, and then the cold, unenthusiastic exchange of shitty gifts in the book mobile at night. It really got old quickly. The only good thing about it was that it covered most of the holiday shopping they had to do for each other, which made the stress of the season diminish at least a little.  
Having been approached by Tré before Christmas to draw names, the boys had a total of two weeks to seek out acceptable presents for one another amidst shitty towns and chain stores that define the touring experience. The whole thing is not as hard as you might think- expectations for gifts have never been very high. Tré appeared to have his gift from the start, which both confused and worried Billie and Mike. He had been too relaxed to have shopping to do and, having kept an eye on him, the two other boys had never seen him leave to go buy something.  
Two weeks had gone by, with Mike squeezing in time to buy a present the night before. With everyone taking a seat on the floor next the Book Mobil’s only bed, all gifts were laid out on the floor between them all. Tré was overly cheerful at the anticipation of yet another year of secret Santa and with the way he was smirking, he was clearly up to something. “Billie goes first,” Tré said before anyone could even get a good look at the shittly-wrapped presents in front of them.  
“Tré, what the fuck?” Billie said as he picked up the present Tre had put down. It was dick shaped, wrapped in newspaper, and adorned with the word “Billie” in sharpie across it.  
“Yeah that’s for you, you fucker,” Tré said excitedly. Billie stared horrified down at the surprise, yet there was a slight smirk of humor on his face and Mike couldn’t help but start laughing as Billie Joe started giggling. The lead singer shredded through the cheap wrapping paper and found underneath, a purple dildo. The three band members burst out laughing even harder upon the sight of Billie holding it triumphantly in the air.  
“Seriously though… Tré, what the fuck? Why did you buy me a dildo?” he asked after the laughter had settled to a few strained snickers.  
“I walked in on you the other day and now I know you definitely are in need of one. Also I thought the purple was a nice color.” The smirk on Tré’s face said it all, but the embarrassed look on Billie’s face summed it all up real nicely. Meanwhile, Mike had lost it and was on his back laughing again. He thought the whole thing was especially humorous, but he didn’t know what he was in for.  
“What’s so funny, Mikey?” Tré asked deviously. “Think you’re too straight to get a dick for the holidays?” Mike could barely breathe as he sat up, only to be met by the drummer holding up a black dildo and passing it to him. “Don’t worry, I got you one too, tough guy.” Mike’s expression went from uncontrollable laughter, to redder than Billie’s in a second. Then it was Billie Joe’s turn to lose it. Even Tré started laughing as Mike stared horrified at the plastic cock in his hands.  
“Tré, now why would you think I needed a dildo?” He almost sounded angry, but as his best friends, the other two knew he wasn’t.  
“Well I didn’t want you to feel left out of course!” Tré exclaimed matter-o-factly as soon as he could speak again.  
“Tré, I’m not using-“ the bassist was cut off as Tré pushed the toy toward him as he tried to hand it back.  
“Shhh…” he said. “Just take it. Just try it. You’ll be fine.” Billie was still laughing uncontrollably at the sight of his best friend so uncomfortable.  
“Thanks, Tré,” Mike said in defeat as he put it behind where he was sitting.  
“You’ll thank me later, Mikey,” he said confidently, winking at Mike to seal the deal.


End file.
